Halloweeeeeeennnn!!!!

Ah, Halloween! That glorious time of year filled with pumpkins, jack-o-lanterns, super heros and princesses and of course, CANDY!!!

It's also the time of year when Christians bring out the judgement guns. People who mean well, but forget the whole "judge not" commandment we find in the Bible...interesting how that happens.

Our family celebrates Halloween! *GASP* Settle down, people, settle down.

Do we set up a shrine to the devil and sacrifice cats in order to try and call up spirits from the beyond? Nope

Do we pray to the moon and thank Mother Earth? Nope

Funny though, that's how it is perceived by those Christians who choose not to participate.

If you choose not to go trick or treating or hand out candy. That's cool. It's your right, you know that whole free will thing. I don't go knocking on your door or filling up your FB newsfeed with messages of "How dare you deprive your children of the experience!"

I don't try to make you feel guilty for it.

I don't list a bunch of unrelated Bible verses in order to prove my point.

I will, however, post pictures of my absurdly adorable children decked out in their Super Hero costumes (Batman and Robin this year) because they are just that stinking cute and awesome.

A friend of mine shared this blog post and it's perfect:
Why I Celebrate Halloween

Enough said.

Happy Halloween or Happy Candy Day or Happy Regular Thursday to you!!

The Home School vs Public School Debate

Let me start by clarifying, that this debate I speak of is just the one going on in my head, nothing bigger than that.

And, never say never!!

I once thought "I will never be able to homeschool, it's just not who I am"

Well, the joke is on me, because I think about it more and more every day.

Why?

Oh, there are so many reasons!!

And it's not so much about the content that is taught in public schools: evolution, homosexuality is good, sex is fine and long as you use protection...we can work around that. My parents managed to teach me right from wrong regardless of what was taught in school.

But, yes that's a concern.

It's more about the fact that I literally feel sick to my stomach every time my 5 year old comes home from school and says they had a Lock Down Drill that day....

Or the fact that almost every single day there is another horrifying story of bullying on the news...

Or the fact that in the town we used to live in a 7 year old stabbed another 7 year old in the back with a pencil....7 YEARS OLD!!! This did not happen in inner city Boston, this happened 2 towns away, where we have friends!!

Maybe I am just a mama-bear wanting to protect and shield my little ones from any potential harm. And you know what, there's nothing wrong with that. That's kind of my job right now, to protect them.

I am really not the over-protective type either, my husband is the helicopter parent, not so much me...

My 5 year old is a very social little guy. He loves school and the structure there, he loves meeting new friends. So, that's a damper. I don't want to take him away from that.

My 3 year old is more clingy, so I would like for him to have to go to school, to learn some independence

But, is public school the best way to do that?

I just don't know

And then, I can't help but think that the more Christian families pull their children out of public schools, the darker those schools become. We are taking the light away...


So many conflicting thoughts....

I will not take any action this school year. J will finish Kindergarten where he started....

But, I will be spending a lot of time on my knees in deep discussion with God about this during that time...

Monday Monday....shoot me now

It may not sound right, but Monday's are just as miserable for us mother's who don't go to work during the day too.

Source

Especially gloomy ones like today...

My Monday's usually consist of lots of dish washing, sweeping, laundry, meal planning, grocery list making, room cleaning, laundry, and lots of other not fun stuff...

I am procrastinating today...

Big time...

If I even look at the washing machine, it makes me nauseated....no, scratch that, it makes me want to punch something...something soft, I'm not a huge fan of pain...

For the past week or so, I have been in one of those moods, where you just want to throw everything cluttery in your sight into the big blue trashcan, dance a happy dance as the big blue trash truck takes it all away, and bask in the beauty of a clean, clutter free house...

Unfortunately, I can't....

Pretty sure the hubs would not be thrilled if I tossed his tools....

Source

So, I will put on my Monday face...get off the stupid computer (time-sucker-away-er) and get my butt in gear...wish me luck...

Otherworld by Jared Wilson - A Disappointing Review

Otherworld: A Novel by Jared C. Wilson
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Word of the day: Disappointing

I was very disappointed in this book.

I am a big fan of Dean Koontz and Ted Dekker, and I love supernatural thrillers. I was hoping this would be up to par...boo, it wasn't.

The first chapter was super engaging, creepy, interesting and I got excited! But I was super disappointed that we never found out who "she" is or what happened to her, but I just now realized..."she" was the cow...ugh!
Whatever.

I enjoy stories being told from different points of view, but this was just confusing. Way too much bouncing around. It was hard to keep track.

The premise is good, but the storytelling was just not there. I could tell where it was going from pretty soon into the book and that's disappointing. I like to be surprised. Even will all the bouncing around, it was still straightforward, I could guess what's going to happen next.

It was a struggle to finish this book, but I powered through.
The spiritual message is a good one, but from a storytelling perspective, it was just (say it with me!) disappointing.

View all my reviews

Red Hill by Jamie McGuire - A Review

Red Hill by Jamie McGuire
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I was debating between a 4 and a 5 on this one. So, really it's a 4.5 :)

The characters are very real and easy to connect to. The story is engaging, it pulls you in from the beginning. I love page turners and this definitely was one for me. I just wanted to keep reading to find out what happens next!

The beginning was a tad confusing to me, I would have liked to have seen a little more explanation of how this disease came to be. That part was very vague which maybe was the intention since it's just the background story to these people's lives, but I still would liked to have seen just a little bit more.

There were also a couple parts in the book that just didn't make a lot of sense, but I won't go into which parts, there are some serious spoilers if I do.

The "zombie" part was very well written. It was scary and gross, but not overly so. Bad idea to read this when it's time to get flu shots for my boys ;)

I was emotionally attached to the main characters, all the characters introduced along the way too, right away and cried at least 4 times reading this book.

The "love story" aspect of this book is muti-faceted. We get to see so many different levels and types of love. There's the strong love of a parent, soul-mate love, new found love, I-can't-have-you-but-I-want-you love, and the strong binding love of people going through something horrific together.

I like it when stories are told from more than one point of view, but if you don't then this book is not for you, but try it anyway!

It's definitely worth a read!!

View all my reviews

Undertow by K.R. Conway: A Review

Undertow by K.R. Conway
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

LOVED this book! The only thing I am disappointed in, is I have no idea when the next story is coming out??

I love YA books, but tend to lean towards dystopian/post-apocalyptic ones (don't ask me why, I don't know), so I wasn't sure how much I would like this one.

I was pleasantly surprised! I ADORE the main character. I was getting bored of the main characters who think they are unattractive and are super shy, but are actually drop dead gorgeous (just annoying). I like how she keeps to herself but only because she has no interest in the high school dramatics, not because she isn't sure of herself, because she is.

Let me give a huge THANK YOU to K.R. Conway for the lack of a love triangle! Super sick of those and also THANK YOU for not making every single boy in town fall madly in love with her!

The way she adjusts to this new found knowledge of a world outside the normal one she is used to is fantastic, she doesn't just shrug her shoulders and say "I knew it!" and jump in with no doubts. Love that.

The way the love story builds is also a breath of fresh air. They kind of fall in love at first sight, but the friendship builds first, Love that!

Sorry, I feel like I am rambling and jumping all over the place and this is probably getting annoying at this point, but I just can't really go into details without spoiling parts of the book!

I very rarely want to read books more than once, but this one I do!
As soon as it comes out, GET IT! You won't be disappointed.

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First comes fall then comes @$$@#@#$

I have very bitter sweet feelings about Fall

It's my favorite season, hands down

 I love the colors on the trees, watching the kids jump in leaf piles,apple picking, baking apple pies that are apparently to die for, living in hoodies...I love it all

Plus,I am a fall baby, and birthdays are awesome

So, what's not to like, you ask? Winter, that's what..fall is a precursor to winter!

I try my best to be content in winter, there's nothing I can do about it, I can't change the weather, I can't make the snow melt, but just because it's there doesn't mean I have to like it, right?

Yes, snowball fights are all kinds of awesome and snowmen are cool for the whole 2 seconds before miniG attacks them and sledding is super fun, and everybody needs a white Christmas, but after the first week or two, I'm done, that's good, we can move on...

 Tell me I'm not alone in this!!

Coexist - A Review

Coexist by Julia Crane
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Warning: Spoilers
Ugh, I tried...I really, really tried.
I just couldn't do it, I couldn't even finish it, which is so very rare with me, I ALWAYS have to finish a book, no matter how awful. But a good friend helped me out and said "Life is too short to waste it on bad books" So, I quickly deleted it so I couldn't torture myself anymore.

The premise is great and the story had SO MUCH POTENTIAL! And there were some good parts that made me want to keep going, but what should have been the most heart stopping moments in the book, fell completely and utterly flat.

For example, when Keegan gets killed...I wasn't even sure what was happening. All I could think was "Huh?" The most anti-climatic killing off of a main character EVER.

And Thaddeous...If you are going to make a young character with an old soul...try not so young...I just can't buy into a 12 year old thinking and speaking and FIGHTING IN A DEADLY WAR like a 30 year old.

The initial interactions between Keegan and Rourke were boring. There should have been way more tension/passion/something there. But again, something that should have made my pulse spike, made me want to go to sleep instead.

The friends turning out to be shape shifters. There should have been way more build up there and clues. And why does Keegan not even know what a shape shifter is? She keeps asking them what they are. DUH!...stupid.

The war itself was very confusing. There was no interaction between the dark and the light before the war. It just happened. And if the kid had never had the vision, and if they had never gone there, it wouldn't have even happened. It made no sense. They had no plans to go to Ireland until he said "Hey, this is where it's going to happen"..Just stupid.

And this is where I finally decided to check out. The end of the war. Bright idea for the kid to invent a vision. Ok, I can roll with that. But, the Dark guy just saying "Good idea kid. Let's call a truce." Stupid. But what really threw me over the edge was "Hey, we called a truce, so now let's work together and hold hands and help out humans! Yay!" What?!?!? Beyond stupid!!!

Ugh, I'm done talking about this...to sum up...don't bother, seriously...

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Praise Him in the Storm

Praise Him in the storm...what does that even mean? I used to think I understood. And it's really easy when times are good to say that even if rough times come, you will still praise Him...

Well, I'm here to tell you, it's really not that easy. When you are on the mountain top and life is good and you are flying high, you have to be very careful to keep your eyes up. If you don't, entitlement slowly creeps in, and when those tough times come, and things are taken away and the waters get really choppy, you will utter those words you swore you never would "Why me, Lord? Why me?"

Confusion will quickly turn to discontent which will ultimately turn to bitterness. "What did I do to deserve this? Why am I going through such a hard time? This isn't fair. God is supposed to be there and provide for me, where is He now?" Sound familiar?

I am ashamed to admit, those were my feelings a very short time ago.

I had sunk very deeply into a pit of self-pity and whining and very discontent in where my life is and our circumstances. Has our life changed so drastically to bring about this change in me from discontent to content, from disappointment to joy?

Nope, only my heart has changed.

God never promised an easy life. He has been very upfront about that too.

"Take up your cross and follow me", that doesn't shout "Follow me and your life will be so easy and you will want for nothing and everyone you meet will be your best friend and you will float though life on sunshine and butterflies!"

No, it whispers "Follow me. You will have burdens to bear, but I promise they will be light, not more that you can handle. And I will hold your hand, carry you when you need me to and catch you when you stumble. Follow me."

As Christians, I don't think we can help but ask, "Why? Why should we go through hardship and struggle? Shouldn't God love us enough to provide our every want and desire and be happy?"

I think the answer lies in our purpose in this life.

To be a light.

How else can we shine? If we can go through the struggles that every one else does, and yet still be content and have joy rather than bitterness and despair, then we are shining!

I want to shine!

Yes, we are struggling right now. Finances are beyond tight, but guess what? We still own a house. Hanging on by a thread, but we are hanging on. We put food on the table 3 times a day plus a thousand snacks. Our children are happy and HEALTHY. We have so very much to be thankful for.

Our cross could be heavier.

This is hard, but not impossible.

Job had EVERYTHING! But in an instant it was taken away. And yet, he had the spiritual fortitude to never blame God. God did NOT take everything away. Satan did.

We have to remember that we can be used as tools against God. To mock him. Just by sinking into that pit of despair when life get rough.

But guess what? Yes, Job went through an impossible horrible time in his life, and I'm sure he did not see the light at the end of the tunnel. He couldn't see the way out. He just had faith that God was still in control. And eventually, his life became golden again.

Well, I refuse to be used as a weapon against my God anymore!

We are in the middle of a storm right now, but I'm praising Him for everything we still have and I'm praising Him for providing for us, what we need exactly when we need it.

I am standing up, brushing myself off, and pressing on.
Who's with me?

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Dear 20-Something Girls, Scratch that, Dear Girls of All Ages

1. You will never, ever, ever be 100% satisfied with your body, so stop trying. No amount of "Likes" and "Wow, you are so hot" comments on bikini clad pictures of yourself on Facebook will give you the satisfaction with yourself that you are looking for, so stop posting them for your 1,000 "friends" to see, and lust over, it's not worth it. To be completely honest with you, all it says is "For a good time, call"

2. It's time to decide the type of woman you want to be. The days of split personalities {sweet good girl to your family and party girl to your friends}, are over. You're an official adult now. Act like it.
You still want to be a party girl? Fine, but own it. Stop pretending to be someone else to your family. Or are you just pretending to your friends? Confusing, isn't it?

3. Contrary to overwhelmingly popular belief, you do not need to have sex with a man in order to keep his interest. And, Hey Guys, this goes for you too. You do not need to have sex with a woman in order to show her how much you love and want her. There are other ways.
Sex is a very, very intimate thing. Duh, I know, but that's not what I'm talking about. It goes beyond the physical. There's a reason why God commands, not suggests, that we save this until AFTER marriage. As soon as we say those vows, our very souls are knit together. It's not just some words to say and a paper to sign. It's spiritual as well. Anyone who ever came before this person who is now literally half of you, means nothing. And when you have sex with someone who you are not not married to, you leave a piece of yourself with them. Not very fair to that person you just pledged your life and soul to is it? You're telling them that they just weren't worth waiting for. Think about it, really, really think about it. You know I'm right.

4. You want to be a better person? Then do it. You know how. You know what you need to do. You know what friends you need to say goodbye to and all that goes along with that. So, be brave, suck it up and do it. The high road is not an easy one. It's an uphill battle with twists and turns and some days you feel like you are climbing a rock wall, but all that hard work pays off. It's a lot easier and more fun to slide down or even jump off the cliff, it's exhilarating at the time, but all that's waiting for you at the bottom is shattered pieces of yourself.

5. Don't put up walls around yourself with the people who love you most. The thing about love is, it's honest. If someone loves you enough, they will tell you the truth. Not platitudes to make you feel better about yourself. If you are lucky enough to have people in your life who tell you when you are making a big mistake, don't shut them out. They may be all you have left one day.

Random Thoughts on Faith

Spring has FINALLY sprung, so that means life is getting busy

Working 4 nights a week, T-Ball is starting next week, so that means practice one night a week and games every Saturday, combine that with all the minutiae of being a sahm (moms, you know what I'm talking about, never-ending laundry, dishes, cooking, organizing clutter, refereeing fights, etc, etc) and it can get overwhelming.  I know I am not half as busy as some people I know (my sister comes to mind), but I feel like I have been hibernating all winter and just now waking up, trying to get everything done and organized and scheduled...and it makes me just want to curl up and ignore it all, my brain is full...

And then, I log on to FB (my connection to the outside world) and I am hit with all this MSNBC nonsense and I add "worrying about the spiritual state of my kids" to the long list in my head.

 I don't know about you, but when I feel overwhelmed or worried or whatever, all I see in my head is a picture of my Bible, knowing that's where I need to run to. And I will always be the first to admit that I let it slip to the bottom of my priority list. Sure, I log on to my little Bible study group and post the verses of the day, but do I read them? Not always.

Until today, the pressure in my head saying "Bible, Bible, Bible" was just so loud, I had to put down everything I was doing and go pick it up.

Then, J walks in the room and asks me to do something for him. I said, "Sure, just let me finish reading my Bible first"

And what does he do?

He runs in his room, grabs  his children's Bibles, curls up in my bed and "reads" it.

I usually tend to do my devotions when the kids are in bed or busy doing something. I have read articles and whatnot that say how important it is that your kids see you reading your Bible and all that, but I never gave much thought to it, until now.

No, MSNBC, my children do NOT belong to the community, they belong to me and my husband. If kids belonged to the collective, they would just pop up out of the ground like on "Mars Needs Moms". We are the only ones responsible for them. I can not get lazy and rely on Sunday School alone to teach my children about faith and Jesus and Love. I even went so far as to look into a local Christian school (something that will never be feasible for us unless we pull a second mortgage on the house).

But, J seeing me reading my Bible today and running to get his, reminds me that my husband and I are the biggest influence in their lives. They watch and see everything we do (especially J, NOTHING gets by that kid).

I HAVE to make my spiritual walk with Christ my very first priority every single day so I can show my children that there is a better way. Not only does it show my kids that it's important, but it gives me the patience to get through the day. The constant "poopyhead!" talk coming out of the playroom would drive even the most calm person a little mad.

I am completely rambling now, and my thoughts are getting jumbled, but I just wanted to write it all down, to remind myself that when life gets busy, and your head gets foggy, the only way to clear the fog is with the burning Light of the Word, and it will light you up and I can only pray that my children will see that light and follow it.

Pretty sure I'm going to reget this later...

Apparently this winter is never-ending.

The weather systems nearby did not get the memo that the first day of Spring was yesterday.

Somebody should fix that, anybody have their cell? Can you text them for me?

Why? Well, because, my children and I have had enough of the cold. We just want to go outside without taking 20 minutes to put on 3 extra layers of clothes, hats, gloves, boots, coats etc, etc, etc...

I have plans! Spring plans! Garden plans! Flower plans! Walkway plans! Plans! Plans that require NO SNOW!!

But, I digress, this is not my intention for this post...

I've been reading lots of posts lately regarding parenting and what not since being a stay at home mom, that's pretty much my main priority...parenting...

Making sure they have good manners, say please and thank you, share, manage their aggression when they get upset (which happens almost every 30 minutes with siblings), follow the rules, and the list could keep going, you get me, right?

Well, today (mostly because of the stupid cold, hence the rant above) is one of those days, where you let the "no running" and "no wrestling" rules slide and let them just have at it. And that's okay!!

I'm pretty sure that letting them be a little crazy today will not turn them into spoiled little monsters that don't listen to their parents and call them nasty names and whatnot.

Sometimes, it's okay to let go of the rules and have some fun. At home at least.

There are days that I'm pretty sure I'm failing at this whole "raising children" thing, because there ARE days where they don't listen, have the snarky attitude of a pms-ing 16-year-old girl, and act like they are kings of the world!

But, just when I'm feeling like a failure, we are at some family function or out in public somewhere, and sure enough, out come the polite little faces, the pleases and thank yous, and quiet demeanor and someone compliments me on what good kids they are, and I figure something must be sinking in, right?

So, today is a day of fun, laughter and craziness, be it inside or outside, and as long as Batman and Hulk are laughing and not screaming in pain, it's all good.

Rambling over...
The End.

Strangely Dim

http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/seeking%20god

Why is faith such a daily struggle?

Why does it take such a huge amount of willpower to pick up my Bible and read it every day?

Not to sound dramatic or anything, but there are forces at work against us doing all they can to keep up away from our Bible, away from that peace that comes from keeping our eyes on Jesus, and I have to admit, these forces win way more often than I do.

Why am I admitting this to the 2 people in my blogosphere? I don't know. Sometimes I just get these nagging little feeling that I need to write some things down and this is one of them...

You know that beautiful, peaceful, light feeling you have when you are in God's word often, you keep your eyes up on Him, trusting Him that all the little pesky concerns of life are in His hands, no matter how bleak things seem, He's in control and won't let you down? Pretty awesome, right?

And then, there's that dark, heavy feeling when you aren't in God's word, your eyes are looking all around at the mess around you, your mind is on the bills that need to get paid but you can't figure out how instead of up, and you've lost that hope?

That's where my head has been for the past couple of weeks. Regardless of the fact that I'm supposed to be "leading" an online Bible study. Every day, when I post the daily verses, there's this little voice telling me that I don't have time to read everything right now, I'll get to it later. But later never comes. I've gone a good 2 weeks without once opening my Bible.

Then, today, I hear this song and it's like the fog on my brain just lifted...I don't know how else to explain it, that's how it felt. A fog lifting off my brain. My heart felt lighter. All because my eyes were lifted once again to Christ where they should be and all the worries that have been floating around became strangely dim.

Now, to keep that fog from drifting slowly back in, will take daily interaction with my God through reading His Word and prayer, which I promised Him yesterday I was committing to. If I can commit 25 minutes every day to working out, I most definitely can commit time to my Jesus.

 

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

No, I'm not confused. I realize it is nowhere near Christmas. No, I have not lost my marbles...yet

It's almost Spring people!! SPRING!!!!

When all the snow melts away

Mud puddles abound

Trees start to bud

Birds start to sing

Windows can be opened

Coats and snow pants can be put away

Cleaning supplies come out of hibernation

And the most glorious of all...Daylight Savings Time!!!!

I can't tell you how much I love this. The sun stays brighter and up longer. And the best part of all...my kids normal wake up time of 6:25-6:45 magically becomes 7:15-7:45!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, for about a week at least

I can't wait until I'm able to say, put on your sweatshirts and boots and go outside! And not have to wait 20 minutes for them to get all bundled up and out the door

And maybe this year I will actually get that garden going I've been dreaming about for 3 years


Ah, Springtime, when dreams and wishes do come true...or something like that

To Shred or Not To Shred

30 Day Shred Challenge: Day 30...Holla!!!!!!!!!
Longest 30 days of my life!!

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Am I shreddded? No, not really.

But, if I'm being honest, I don't really have that much weight to lose, between 5-10 maybe, to get rid of the layer of chubs over my now awesome muscles (but I'm getting ahead of myself here)...if I had started this thing needing to lose like 30lbs or something, I'm sure it would have melted away.

Not changing my diet probably, no definitely, had a lot to do with not really losing weight. I'm no expert or anything, but I'm thinking a handful of Oreos for breakfast is probably NOT working in my favor. In fact, if the scale is to be believed, I actually gained 2lbs. But I totally, honestly, completely do NOT care what the scale says anymore. I grudgingly got on it this morning just to compare where I started.

So, the question remains. Is the daily 25 minute TORTURE (there's truly no better word for it) worth it?

YES!!

Say what, Crazy Lady? You just said you gained 2lbs??

Indeed, but here is what I have gained (other than supposedly 2lbs) by doing this challenge:

Muscles, yo! My arms feel toned and stronger, my legs and hips feel smaller, my rear end feels perkier, and my arch enemy (my stomach pudge) is a lot smaller! (I realize I should have taken actual measurements, but whatevs) I am able to do a lot more now than I could when I started, I can ALMOST master the traveling pushups (and NOT the girly ones). So, I'm sticking with the whole, muscle weighs more than fat, thing here!

A new found willpower and dedication to working out! I'm very good at setting goals, and very, very, very good at making excuses as to why I can't do it. I had told myself a while ago that I was going to work out every single day for 30 days. I even told a couple people about my challenge to myself in hopes of that holding me accountable. And it worked....for about 3 days. So, what was so different about this? I didn't do it alone!!! My sister, a good friend, and I committed together to do this 30 Day Shred thing, every day. And we kept each other accountable. We weren't physcially together, but we checked in every single day saying that we had completed the torture that day. We used Facebook to do this, which probably drove our friends up the wall seeing those stupid posts every day, but who cares, that's what the Hide button is for, right?

A new found confidence in myself. Growing up (after I hit puberty that is) I struggled with my weight and was the pudgy girl with no self esteem, all through high school and college. Until I met the love of my life, fell in love, got engaged, and that magic of falling in love made the pounds melt away. Even so, I have a very hard time taking a compliment. Until now. Because I have worked so hard.

Now that it's all over and done with, what's next? Well, we are moving on to Jillian's Ripped in 30, looks very similar to 30 Day Shred, just different moves. Will I stay committed to doing it every day? Probably, it's become such a habit, but I may take a day off or something. And I will probably mix it up. I miss Zumba.

So, if you are wondering if the 30 Day Shred is really worth it..I say Hells Yes!! But, I urge you to find someone else as crazy as you to do it with you. You will need that encouragement and competitiveness to keep you going. And I must warn you...it's not fun, it doesn't become fun, and you never really get to the point where you're so good and buff that you breeze through it. But, it's still worth it!

Good Luck! And Happy Shredding!!

Starting Over

So, I'm giving the whole blog world another go.

Sometimes there are just things rattling around in my brain, and with no one over the age of 5 to talk to for about 9 hours a day, it's either talk to myself, or write it down.

I'm hoping my internet stalker does not return, if so, I may have to go underground and anonymous, but since no one will probably ever read this, I don't think I have to worry about it.