Strangely Dim

http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/seeking%20god

Why is faith such a daily struggle?

Why does it take such a huge amount of willpower to pick up my Bible and read it every day?

Not to sound dramatic or anything, but there are forces at work against us doing all they can to keep up away from our Bible, away from that peace that comes from keeping our eyes on Jesus, and I have to admit, these forces win way more often than I do.

Why am I admitting this to the 2 people in my blogosphere? I don't know. Sometimes I just get these nagging little feeling that I need to write some things down and this is one of them...

You know that beautiful, peaceful, light feeling you have when you are in God's word often, you keep your eyes up on Him, trusting Him that all the little pesky concerns of life are in His hands, no matter how bleak things seem, He's in control and won't let you down? Pretty awesome, right?

And then, there's that dark, heavy feeling when you aren't in God's word, your eyes are looking all around at the mess around you, your mind is on the bills that need to get paid but you can't figure out how instead of up, and you've lost that hope?

That's where my head has been for the past couple of weeks. Regardless of the fact that I'm supposed to be "leading" an online Bible study. Every day, when I post the daily verses, there's this little voice telling me that I don't have time to read everything right now, I'll get to it later. But later never comes. I've gone a good 2 weeks without once opening my Bible.

Then, today, I hear this song and it's like the fog on my brain just lifted...I don't know how else to explain it, that's how it felt. A fog lifting off my brain. My heart felt lighter. All because my eyes were lifted once again to Christ where they should be and all the worries that have been floating around became strangely dim.

Now, to keep that fog from drifting slowly back in, will take daily interaction with my God through reading His Word and prayer, which I promised Him yesterday I was committing to. If I can commit 25 minutes every day to working out, I most definitely can commit time to my Jesus.